Resonant Leadership

Based on class discussions to date and looking back at your experience leading (and being led), how will you recognize "resonant leadership"  as you move forward from this class.  What would resonant leadership look like, sound like, and feel like when seen in a team captain, student government leader, youth group leader, or any other role in which you might find yourself?      As we discussed in class, resonant leaders are those who are in harmony with those in need and also with those that they lead. They are leaders who seek to build strong relationships with their peers, and they also have their followers best interest in mind at all times.If you were to be surrounded by a bunch of resonant leaders you would feel a large sense of connection, passion and positive energy surrounding you. Of course, it is important to address what it means to be the opposite of a resonant leader. The  opposite would be a dissonant leader. If you were to associate yourself with dissonat leaders there would be a lack of harmony, connection,  and postive emotions. All of these traits put together tends to just wear people out. This is why I strive to be a person who does things "the nice way." The five tenants on my personal creedo  are balance, smart, happy, genuine, and approachable. I think each of these adds to what  it means to be a resonant leader. I try to get to know people and bring out the best of them, and by looking for the positives in all builds that resonant relationship. Once again, my personal creedo has allowed me to become even more aware of that legacy that I hope to leave behind and the five tenants that my personal creedo suggests, are what make me a natural resonant leader. Lastly, everyone appreciates being valued, and it is my strength to make those resonant bonds with those who may feel undervalued. I cannot think of any reason as to why anyone would want to be considered anything other than a resonant leader.

Goleman Reflection Post... round 2

 “No creature can fly with just one wing. Gifted leadership occurs where heart and head – feeling and thought – meet. These are the two wings that allow a leader to soar.”

P. 26 Goleman, Primal Leadership

     After thinking deeply about this quote and having discussed what it means to be a personal of emotional intelligence in class, I have come to a conclusion that Goleman is trying to teach that all effective leaders need intellect in order to soar but in order to fly, leaders must use their intellect to execute a vision by motivation, guiding, inspiring, persuading and listening to others. Those who fail to recognize the fact that you need more than just intellect or "more than just one wing to fly" will not reach their fullest potentials. The combination between head and heart is key. Once one can connect the feelings of others and use their knowledge from previous experiences, great opportunities will arise that will aid in the development of ones unique potential, direction,  relationships, and most importantly strengthen ones leadership talents. I heard a pod cast recently that has intrigued me about Stuart Diamond's book, Getting More How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World. Some of the things that the pod cast touched on were:

1.“Make human contact, people are almost everything in a human negotiation”

2.“Acknowledge the other party’s position and power valuing them”

3.“To think of yourself as the least important person in negotiation”

4. “Ultimately more effective and persuasive, you have to get people to want to do things”

5. “You need to tap into the other person’s emotional psyche with empathy, apologies if necessary, by valuing them or offering them other things that get them to think for clearly.”

6. "Embrace differences"

7. "Establish a relationship with the other person--you start out informal and chatty".

8. "Questions are a great way to collect information" 

9. "Focus on the other party and their feelings and perceptions, in stead of on "the deal"  

10. "Small talk establishes confort level between people."

     These exerts exemplify that Stuart Diamond believes with the quote that we are discusseing. Emotional intelligence and valuing others is important. I hope to have the time to read this book this summer in its entirety as I think it is important as a leader to have a plan on how to negotiate. From what I have read and heard, Stuart Diamond, values others and is in keeping with my personal creedo of "running my race the nice way." 

Voice Thread Creedo

http://voicethread.com/share/2670775/

M-B Reflection

Overall I had a really positive experience with the Meyers-Briggs personality test. Even though I was able to accurately predict my exact lettering (ESFJ) from the very beginning, I learned a lot more about myself in a brand new way. What was most surprising to me was how my peers perceived me. They view me very differently then I know myself to be. Because of this, as I move forward, I must now consider that if my peers perceive me as one who is introverted or not as strong of a leader as a I see myself, then I need to do a better job letting others see the real me or the “Me I’ve always wanted to be.” Two of the things that my peers mentioned were: 1) “You are too studious”. Yes, I care greatly about my studies and taking the next step so that I will be able to go to the college of my choice, however I do have a “fun-side” to me, and not only do I care about school, but I am deeply committed to my dancing and community service. 2) “You are too nice.” Although many people think that dancers are just dainty little flowers, it would be interesting for them to spend an evening at my ballet studio where we all appear to be graceful however, one does not get to the company level at a pre-professional studio without being a fiercely-dedicated, artistic, and competitive athlete. I can understand why my peers think I am “too nice” sometimes also, because each day I strive to treat others well and I constantly consider my legacy just-in-case I have to pick up and move the next day like previous experiences. Just because I want to be remembered as the “nice girl” or someone who treated others well doesn’t mean that I am less interested in being an effective leader. My life experiences have shown me that time is somewhat fleeting. Each time I leave a place I can only hope that if my name were to appear in conversation that others would say, “She was a ray of sunshine, I miss her.” 

The Me I Always Wanted to Be

In order to unravel the question who is the me I have always wanted to be, I imagined myself in a realistic scenario. In this scenario a new student was coming to Parish and she stopped one of my friends in the hall. She pointed to me across the room and said, "So tell me what's the deal with that girl Emily Sher, What is she like?" I then interpreted this question as what reputation do I want to have amongst my peers. I would hope that my friend would answer this question describing me with the following similar characteristics. 

1. Approachable - It is important to me that people view me as someone who is extremely friendly and not hard to talk to or relate to. This quality allows one to have many different groups of friends which I feel is very important to have.

2. Genuine - I think that being considered genuine is also a great quality to have. Being known as someone who is honest and just overall a great well-rounded person is something that we should all strive to be. 

3. Smart - In this particular context being smart has a couple different meanings. Of course the obvious is I would want others to view me as someone who is a good student in school and also intelligent. However, I also think the word smart relates to  being considered responsible. Those who make smart and responsible decisions are people who I typically respect and admire. 

4. Balance - Having balance within ones life is also an important attribute. Between school, dance and community service, it is difficult to find time to spend with my family in friends. However, over the years I have learned to prioritize and make the time to spend with those who are extremely important to me. Living a balanced and healthy lifestyle can be difficult, but I think it is vital in order to live a happy life. 

5. Happy - I think that is important for people to see me as a happy individual. I strive to smile and laugh at every opportunity possible because life is too short not to enjoy it. Being happy and positive are important in that it can have a profound effect on those around you. No one likes to be around a "negative Nelly" therefore showing that you care and are making an effort to be as positive as possible is an attractive feature. 

In conclusion, not only would I want my peers to respect me for the above characteristics, but I would also hope that my family, teachers, and other adult influences see me in a similar positive way. 

Missy Interview

After generating a list of possible interviews I finally decided on the Director of the Teen CONTACT Program at CONTACT Crisis Line, Missy Wall. When I completed my interview with Missy, I was flabbergasted to see how many parallels there were between her responses and what we have talked about in class. When I asked her what she thought were some effective traits for leaders she said the ones who aren’t just “self-starters” but also “self-finishers” or in other words people who commit to something and finish what they have started. Also leaders are those who accept criticisms from teammates or those beneath them and also those who know how to be a follower at times too.

When I asked Missy whether or not she believed leaders were born or made she answered saying, “I believe leaders are both born and made. Sometimes you can just see it in a little kid that they were born to do something and other times people can become great leaders. For example, our Sync program that we do makes leaders. The kids go there, watch others, and by example learn to lead. Also some of these kids never have the support that a leader needs, therefore, sync is a chance for those kids to gain that support.” In class we watched a video about a guy in a park who started randomly dancing, he wasn’t considered to be a true leader until his first follower joined him. Alike in the sync program support is a necessity to become a leader.

Talking to Missy about what she does for a living connected a lot to our class as well. When I asked Missy how she was trained to lead she described her experience within her church and working in a small youth group. Her mentor further got her involved by teaching Sunday school adult programs and she too learned by watching other leaders. Later her learned skills were put to the test when she became captain of her basketball and soccer team. She learned by example and then evolved into the example. As a leader on the court, field, and in her social work today, Missy is passionate, full of energy, creative, excited about what she does, has a willingness and belief for change, flexibility, and most importantly she has a heart. She believes that we never stop learning and evolving, and that it is important to meet those below the leadership rank at their level. As a leader, you must judge where that person is at, and base your attitude, behavior etc. around their needs. She says the key is “evening out our expectations.”

Lastly, and most importantly, I asked Missy what the hardest thing about her job is. She responded saying that “you can’t lead everyone. You can try to do something but you just can’t read peoples minds and there will always be someone who thinks they could do it better than yourself or there will always be that one to criticize your work. However, we must learn from our failures and mistakes and just know that we are doing the best we can. Know that you can’t please everyone, but if you have confidence in what you are doing then all you can do is hope that others follow.” After speaking with Missy it has helped confirm my opinion that she is a great leader and someone I hope to further emulate. 

How my View of Leadership Changed

Over the past seven class periods, I don't believe my view of leadership has changed, however I am a lot more aware of the impact that leaders can make. When Mrs. Mayfield came to talk to us about her job, she further solidified my view that leaders must all continue to grow and evolve especially as roles change and leaders all have their own style and personal skill sets. For example, as a Freshman the community service requirement was a burden. While I completed the 15 required hours, I knew it was nothing more than the proverbial  "checking a box." Sophomore year, started no differently, but as the year progressed I started hearing about other organizations that began to spark my interest. The first was Teen Contact. I've always thought of myself as a good listener and could help others through their rough patches. This lead me to applying to be a peer counselor at Parish and to apply to be on the Teen Contact Board. After turning in the application and having a formal interview I knew I had discovered a great organization that I have become passionate about. Also by watching and speaking with other leaders within my community, I quickly found the Junior Leadership Board at Children's Medical Center. My experience with this organization has been greatly enriching, and I'm proud to work and help lead an organization that will hopefully find a cure for Zach. Again, I think I've always understood what a leader was, but I hope that I am becoming a more dynamic one.