M-B Reflection

Overall I had a really positive experience with the Meyers-Briggs personality test. Even though I was able to accurately predict my exact lettering (ESFJ) from the very beginning, I learned a lot more about myself in a brand new way. What was most surprising to me was how my peers perceived me. They view me very differently then I know myself to be. Because of this, as I move forward, I must now consider that if my peers perceive me as one who is introverted or not as strong of a leader as a I see myself, then I need to do a better job letting others see the real me or the “Me I’ve always wanted to be.” Two of the things that my peers mentioned were: 1) “You are too studious”. Yes, I care greatly about my studies and taking the next step so that I will be able to go to the college of my choice, however I do have a “fun-side” to me, and not only do I care about school, but I am deeply committed to my dancing and community service. 2) “You are too nice.” Although many people think that dancers are just dainty little flowers, it would be interesting for them to spend an evening at my ballet studio where we all appear to be graceful however, one does not get to the company level at a pre-professional studio without being a fiercely-dedicated, artistic, and competitive athlete. I can understand why my peers think I am “too nice” sometimes also, because each day I strive to treat others well and I constantly consider my legacy just-in-case I have to pick up and move the next day like previous experiences. Just because I want to be remembered as the “nice girl” or someone who treated others well doesn’t mean that I am less interested in being an effective leader. My life experiences have shown me that time is somewhat fleeting. Each time I leave a place I can only hope that if my name were to appear in conversation that others would say, “She was a ray of sunshine, I miss her.” 

The Me I Always Wanted to Be

In order to unravel the question who is the me I have always wanted to be, I imagined myself in a realistic scenario. In this scenario a new student was coming to Parish and she stopped one of my friends in the hall. She pointed to me across the room and said, "So tell me what's the deal with that girl Emily Sher, What is she like?" I then interpreted this question as what reputation do I want to have amongst my peers. I would hope that my friend would answer this question describing me with the following similar characteristics. 

1. Approachable - It is important to me that people view me as someone who is extremely friendly and not hard to talk to or relate to. This quality allows one to have many different groups of friends which I feel is very important to have.

2. Genuine - I think that being considered genuine is also a great quality to have. Being known as someone who is honest and just overall a great well-rounded person is something that we should all strive to be. 

3. Smart - In this particular context being smart has a couple different meanings. Of course the obvious is I would want others to view me as someone who is a good student in school and also intelligent. However, I also think the word smart relates to  being considered responsible. Those who make smart and responsible decisions are people who I typically respect and admire. 

4. Balance - Having balance within ones life is also an important attribute. Between school, dance and community service, it is difficult to find time to spend with my family in friends. However, over the years I have learned to prioritize and make the time to spend with those who are extremely important to me. Living a balanced and healthy lifestyle can be difficult, but I think it is vital in order to live a happy life. 

5. Happy - I think that is important for people to see me as a happy individual. I strive to smile and laugh at every opportunity possible because life is too short not to enjoy it. Being happy and positive are important in that it can have a profound effect on those around you. No one likes to be around a "negative Nelly" therefore showing that you care and are making an effort to be as positive as possible is an attractive feature. 

In conclusion, not only would I want my peers to respect me for the above characteristics, but I would also hope that my family, teachers, and other adult influences see me in a similar positive way. 

Missy Interview

After generating a list of possible interviews I finally decided on the Director of the Teen CONTACT Program at CONTACT Crisis Line, Missy Wall. When I completed my interview with Missy, I was flabbergasted to see how many parallels there were between her responses and what we have talked about in class. When I asked her what she thought were some effective traits for leaders she said the ones who aren’t just “self-starters” but also “self-finishers” or in other words people who commit to something and finish what they have started. Also leaders are those who accept criticisms from teammates or those beneath them and also those who know how to be a follower at times too.

When I asked Missy whether or not she believed leaders were born or made she answered saying, “I believe leaders are both born and made. Sometimes you can just see it in a little kid that they were born to do something and other times people can become great leaders. For example, our Sync program that we do makes leaders. The kids go there, watch others, and by example learn to lead. Also some of these kids never have the support that a leader needs, therefore, sync is a chance for those kids to gain that support.” In class we watched a video about a guy in a park who started randomly dancing, he wasn’t considered to be a true leader until his first follower joined him. Alike in the sync program support is a necessity to become a leader.

Talking to Missy about what she does for a living connected a lot to our class as well. When I asked Missy how she was trained to lead she described her experience within her church and working in a small youth group. Her mentor further got her involved by teaching Sunday school adult programs and she too learned by watching other leaders. Later her learned skills were put to the test when she became captain of her basketball and soccer team. She learned by example and then evolved into the example. As a leader on the court, field, and in her social work today, Missy is passionate, full of energy, creative, excited about what she does, has a willingness and belief for change, flexibility, and most importantly she has a heart. She believes that we never stop learning and evolving, and that it is important to meet those below the leadership rank at their level. As a leader, you must judge where that person is at, and base your attitude, behavior etc. around their needs. She says the key is “evening out our expectations.”

Lastly, and most importantly, I asked Missy what the hardest thing about her job is. She responded saying that “you can’t lead everyone. You can try to do something but you just can’t read peoples minds and there will always be someone who thinks they could do it better than yourself or there will always be that one to criticize your work. However, we must learn from our failures and mistakes and just know that we are doing the best we can. Know that you can’t please everyone, but if you have confidence in what you are doing then all you can do is hope that others follow.” After speaking with Missy it has helped confirm my opinion that she is a great leader and someone I hope to further emulate. 

How my View of Leadership Changed

Over the past seven class periods, I don't believe my view of leadership has changed, however I am a lot more aware of the impact that leaders can make. When Mrs. Mayfield came to talk to us about her job, she further solidified my view that leaders must all continue to grow and evolve especially as roles change and leaders all have their own style and personal skill sets. For example, as a Freshman the community service requirement was a burden. While I completed the 15 required hours, I knew it was nothing more than the proverbial  "checking a box." Sophomore year, started no differently, but as the year progressed I started hearing about other organizations that began to spark my interest. The first was Teen Contact. I've always thought of myself as a good listener and could help others through their rough patches. This lead me to applying to be a peer counselor at Parish and to apply to be on the Teen Contact Board. After turning in the application and having a formal interview I knew I had discovered a great organization that I have become passionate about. Also by watching and speaking with other leaders within my community, I quickly found the Junior Leadership Board at Children's Medical Center. My experience with this organization has been greatly enriching, and I'm proud to work and help lead an organization that will hopefully find a cure for Zach. Again, I think I've always understood what a leader was, but I hope that I am becoming a more dynamic one.

Direction/Commitment/Alignment

1. My ballet teacher is an interesting example of leadership. She runs a large studio and also a not-for-profit ballet company. On the leadership stool she places heavy emphasis on commitment. If we are running late to class or absent a day from rehearsal she will call us personally or text us to see where we are. Her immense commitment to ballet keeps everyone align and moreover she holds a tight ship making sure that everyone is giving their all. She also provides us with direction by offering incentive to reaching then next level. However, sometimes I find her a bit over zealous. Ballet is an extra-cirricular and sometimes I feel she doesn't recognize the other life experiences that are also very important to teenagers. For example, having nutcracker rehearsal at 6:30 on the day of homecoming was not practical, and was very stressful when pictures were at seven, but she would not except this as an excusable reason for an absence. While  Nutcracker and other performances are masterpieces, her leadership style makes her intimidating and unapproachable.

2. One of the leaders that I admire most in my life is the camp director at Camp Birch Trail. Barbra knows all, sees all, and does all, without anyone realizing that she is the backbone of the camp. She is the type of person who tells you their goals and helps her employees and campers do what she needs them to do so that camp runs seamlessly. Therefore, on the leadership stool her main emphasis is on direction. She is also committed to each and every camper and counselor, and always has an open door and a willingness to discuss any problem or issue. Because of her commitment to everyone in the camp community and the path that she guides each and every one of us on, camp is well aligned. I look forward to working for her as a counselor this summer.

3. My last leader who I greatly admire is Missy Wall. She is the director of Teen Contact and she runs a 24 hour crisis intervention hotline. She is extremely committed and passionate for educating our communities' teenagers about the signs, and risks of bullying, suicide and depression... She provides the Teen Contact Board with direction to align with the greater organizations' goals. Missy is empowering the Teen Board  members to help raise awareness and she has also inspired me to become a crisis hotline specialist.

Questions for Leadership Interview

1. What are some characteristics of effective leaders?
2. How were you trained to lead?
3. What was the most effective means of training as a leader for you?
4. How do you continue to grow as a leader
5. What has been your greatest failure as a leader?
6. What is the hardest thing you have to do as a leader?
7. What is your hardest learned lesson as a leader?
8. Who did you admire or influenced you as a leader?
9. How did you develop this passion to lead ______?
10. Do you believe leaders are born or made?

List of Possible Interviews

Missy Wall -  Volunteers for Teen Contact and is a leader within the community and globally. Teen contact is a 24 hour crisis line that helps individuals who are seeking help. Missy helps raise awareness in school etc to prevent suicide, bullying and sexting.

Michelle Gross - Volunteer for Children's Medical Center. Helps raise money and awareness for the kids who are suffering. She also organizes events so that the children can have fun and be happy.

Barbara Charnov - Camp director who helps make sure camp is an environment where everyone is accepted and safe.

Coach Nady - A leader and a role model for the boys on the football team. He inspires the boys to try their best and most of all enjoy the sport!

Leader's Born or Made?

Q: Explain in detail your reaction to this quote. Do you believe it to be accurate? What examples or evidence would you cite to support your position? How has anything we have done  or discussed

in class to date influenced your opinion? 

Leadership is an observable, learnable set of practices.  Leadership is not  something mystical and ethereal that cannot be understood by ordinary people.  Given the opportunity for feedback and practice, those with the desire and persistence to lead – to make a difference – can substantially improve their abilities to do so.    - Kouzes and Posner, The Leadership Challenge      This question as to whether leaders are born or made was very difficult for me to decide. I came to a  conclusion that everyone is born with the same potential to be a leader but those who express  leadership characteristics first are the ones who we typically label to be the  "natural born leaders." However,  for those who do not blossom into being a  leader right away, I believe, still have the opportunity to become one. Like the quote above says, "leadership is... a learnable set of practices." Therefore, good leaders  can arise by watching and observing the leaders before them. As I mentioned in my previous blog, I learned  by example what it meant to be a good color wars captain.       The quote, "leadership...cannot be understood by ordinary people," I find, to be extremely true. Although I said everyone is born with the same potential, those who never practice, or develop  the desire and persistence to become a leader, fail to become extraordinary people, and therefore cannot truly understand what it truly means to be a leader. If one doesn't put forth the effort to be a leader their potential never reaches the action point. Leadership doesn't  just develop at birth, its a process  that requires immense effort, devotion and observance.